Trauma, Healing and Attachment Resources

On The Web:

http://www.emdr.com EMDR Institute

http://www.rossinst.com Colin A. Ross Institute

http://www.endritualabuse.org Ellen Lacter (RAMC - Ritual Abuse and Mind Control)

http://www.mosaicminds.org (on DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder support)

http://www.survivorship.org (on DID support)

http://www.couplescounselling4u‎.co.nz (attachment and adult relationship)

http://www.eftdownunder.com/ozmaster.html

http://www.mindfulnesscds.com/ Jon Kabat Zinn and mindfulness

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk DBT skills

http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com Marital skills

http://jonsi-jonsi.blogspot.com/2011/11/popsicle-stick-jokes-about-narcissism.htmls (Coping with narcissism, great piece on triangulation)

http://narcissistic.co/articles-on-narcissism.html

http://www.lovefraud.com Relationships with sociopaths

http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/toxic-parents-and-personality-disorders-2#axzz2q7YDsLFrs Good overview of toxic parents and personality disorders‎

F*ck That: An Honest Meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY An honest and funny meditation.

Books:

The Courage to Heal - Laura Davis

John Bradshaw on The Family - John Bradshaw

Healing The Shame That Binds You - John Bradshaw

Co-Dependent No More - Melody Beattie

Transforming the Pain (vicarious traumatization) - Laurie Pearlman

Life After Trauma: A Workbook - Dena Rosenbloom

Hot Monogamy - Patricia Love

The Heart of Addiction - Lance Dodes

Getting the Love You Want Workbook - Harville Hendrix

When Good Men Behave Badly - David Wexier

Women Who Run With The Wolves - Clarissa Estes Pincola

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart - Susan Piver

Deceived: Healing Sexual Betrayal - Claudia Black

You are the One You've Been Waiting For - Richard Schwartz

Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson

The Room - Emma Donoghue

Movies:

Room

The Prince of Tides

Fireproof

The History of Us

The United States of Tara (about DID, a series available on Netflix, etc)

City of Angels

August: Osage County

Jimmy P

Frankie and Alice

Smoke Signals

Good Will Hunting

A Guided Experience on Attachment

Understanding Attachment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0&list=PLvPeoUjYOq6OrppPDvIi24kD7cdLFCoRN

A Crying Baby Audio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xRrUVVKigk

What do you feel when you hear this? Anxious? Tense? Sad? Angry? A baby cries to get it's needs met, it's only way to communicate and engage us. There are thousands of youtube videos on how to stop a baby's crying...swaddling, music, massage, etc. Baby's cries activate our attachment bond so we act to protect or nurture.

Cat Soothing Crying Baby to Sleep

http://www.socialstreamiz.com

A baby's cries is a universal call that all mammals respond to. Even this cat responds to a human baby's cries.

Husky Calms Crying Baby

http://www.facebook.com/YoutubeSubscribeHelp

The distress of a crying baby moves us to respond. When our own attachment is healthy, we help the baby co-regulate (soothe themselves through our modeling).

Baby Elephant Wept Uncontrollably for 5 Hours after Mother Stomped On It & Tried to Kill It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14j0RKwP4cw

Abandonment, neglect and abuse cause attachment wounds, depression, anxiety and more. Even when it's our caretaker that's causing the despair, we are dependent on them for our survival. It leaves us craving a deep unmet need. Thus, the need for psychological survival and defense mechanisms.....

Baby Cries to Mom's Singing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJNYSga0Czk

This is a heartbreaking video. Baby FEELS her pain, tries to reach out to mom. Finally, mom sees baby's pain and tends to baby. Attachment is experienced through non-verbal communication, by eye contact, tone of voice, body language and emotional states.

When caretakers respond to a baby's needs in a healthy way, a baby develops a secure attachment. People who were neglected by a depressed, sick, narcissistic or abusive parent often grow up with depressed and/or anxious feelings, with no conscious memory of why they feel that way. It's an invisible wound. How do we respond to another's pain and need?

Child Tantrum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBUhV4seFHA

What do we do when we can't sooth a distressed child? Our own defenses and attachment styles are activated. Do we walk away, plead, manipulate, threaten, assault, nurture, mock, laugh, get help? Consider your own process when someone you love is inconsolable, unresponsive or unavailable. We all have an attach/fight/flight/freeze response option. 

John Bowlby and Attachment Theory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrcNjFyWeWE&list=PL1BA50B1137D450D8

Listen to the creator of Attachment Theory directly. This links to wonderful original videos of his research with children and their caretakers.

Attachment with Adolescents

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLNskXu-XJI

Adult Attachment in Relationships

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xOziE-Jlac